Fat Doggin' It

As I sat around yesterday, full to the brim with holiday feasting, reading the very last of the Harry Potter novels, wiping the tears away, I was grateful for a day. Most people have never enjoyed a bit of fat doggery, but since being introduced to it by my brother, I have had nothing but the sincerest respect for the wonders of fat dog.

(queu music, perhaps 70's polyester...no?...okay, poor college student look then...better...begin flashback)

It was a hot, dry summer, the likes of which the great Salt Lake Valley hadn't seen in eighteen years. My brother, a tall, strapping lad of twenty, had recently spent an evening dining in the company of friends. They lay outside upon the grass, celebrating its success. Though neighbors' lawns revealed the consequences of a rain-free summer, he and his friends lay on a patch of bright green; the restaurant having been successful in their watering campaign. Comfortably lazy, he realized that wonderfully full, restful state he was hovering ever more near to was the same contented state often seen in canines after a particularly pleasant day. Having shared his delightfully insightful discovery with his friends, he thereupon named the feeling 'fat dog'.

Now, to be truthful, I'm not sure this is how it actually started. But suffice it to say, sometimes you have literary license. The point is, my friends, that 'fat dog' is a wonderful term for the way we all feel when we have eaten well, feel safe, warm, and content, have nothing to do for several hours, and can now simply slip into the peace which eludes us so often. Buddhist monks may term this 'nirvana' but I am not a Buddhist monk and so 'fat dog' feels more appropriate. If Buddhist monks had fat dogs, they might have renamed their quest for oneness with the universe. Dogs, after all, seem remarkably centered. It is only their owners who have neurosis. There may be one or two out there who seem a bit helter-skelter but likely they have adopted such quirks out of a sense of loyalty to their two-leggeds. Regardless, 'fat dog' is a wonderful term which is surprisingly versatile.

"I was fat dogging just last Wednesday after tea when...". Or, if you are American, 'I was fat doggin' it after lunch."
"Where were you this afternoon?" "In the atrium, just enjoying a bit of fat doggery."
"I feel everlastingly fat dog after that meal, dear." "Oh John, you are so kind; it only took fourteen hours to prepare that seven course meal, but thank you."

Now these hypothetical conversations are just a drop in the bucket to the many ways you can use this term. And if you ever run into the occasion where you are, perhaps fat dog to the nth degree (as I and a friend were once in NYC after a particularly delicious but terribly waist-expanding meal) you could always say you were 'fat horsing' it or, for toppers, feeling 'fat dinosaur' (although without further scientific study, we cannot positively state that there was ever such a thing as a fat dinosaur).

But, whatever your preference, enjoy the holiday weekend, eat lots of leftovers, and find a quiet, warm place where you can 'fat dog' to your heart's content.