This just in...buy your eggos while you can. According to a recent article on Money Central, Kelloggs is facing a waffle shortage. Two factors are forcing the public to 'leggo the eggo'. The first, flooding in a bakery in Atlanta, Georgia. The second, repairs to their largest waffle bakery in Rossville, Tennessee. Apparently, Kelloggs is going to have to 'gasp' RATION.
Now I've never been a big fan of frozen pastries or breakfast of any kind (unless it comes frozen and someone else puts it together a la McD's sausage egg mcmuffin) but this just seems like a sad commentary of our current world crisis. Kind've like when Christopher Reeves passed away and Kenny Rogers sang a song about how "we even lost Superman."
But rather than decry the politicians or government or Mother Nature for what is a sad predicament, I'd like to focus on the silver lining. Krusteaux and Bisquick. These two companies should be feeling a small sense of relief, as should everyone who believes in homemade waffles. And by homemade, I mean the kind from a box made at home, not from ingredients you mix by hand, which is called 'scratch'. If I wanted to 'scratch' for food, I'd be a chicken.
My favorite waffle? Less important than the shape. It's gotta be square. How else can butter so perfectly enter each and every square? What else but a square waffle allows you to move the syrup bottle back and forth and fill in each little indent with a small pool of maple-y goodness? Nothing but a square my friend.
I once debated this point. My opponent argued for the Belgian. Sure, a round waffle on a round plate has a certain sense of being one with the universe, but this should only be considered a legitimate argument by intellectuals who read books like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and stare at art which is 'so esoteric'. Come on. Let's be real. You have a fork. You have a knife. You cut in straight lines. Every piece is equal. The way George Washington intended. Our founding fathers would be proud. Viva la galleta cuadrada!
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I think we need to take a cue from our grandparents and start Victory Gardens. Or, you know... Victory Waffleries. Or start handing out ration coupons for waffles - just to be fair.
ReplyDeleteWe can do it!
You are so wonderfully creative:) Please don't ever stop writing. I too don't want to be a chicken therefore I make a lot of homeade items but not from scratch.
ReplyDeleteAnnie, this is a great idea! At some point, we could even start selling waffles from streetcarts. Unless it becomes illegal, in which case we will have to hook waffles to our long trenchcoats and sell them in seedy parts of town.
ReplyDeleteChelsea, thanks for the compliment! Truthfully, you'd be a wonderfully optimistic chicken, but I think you make a better forest ranger!