Dreaming

I have a friend that, lately, has been feeling discouraged about what he does and whether or not it makes a difference. He's wondering if it's time to quit the particular fight he's in; leave those things for someone else. And it's got me thinking about the state of the world right now, particularly America. Why do things if they don't seem to make a difference anymore or won't?

This morning, at about 3:00 a.m., I woke up from a dream where I was singing (in my best Peter O'Toole impersonation) 'The Impossible Dream' while riding a horse out in the woods, momentarily looking for a place to use the "Powder Room". I said something to one of the other women riding a horse and going in the opposite direction (an archnemesis of mine from the 4th grade, though in the dream she was also an adult). I asked her "isn't this is why we do it, to hold back the dark?" Then she rode away and I started singing.

For those of you who have never seen the musical, Man of La Mancha, I recommend it. It's not a kids' movie; it deals with a lot of concepts that are not for kids and maybe that's why I hated it as a kid, I couldn't understand. But as an adult, I can't get through it without crying. It's not a happy movie. It's a play that needed to be written and a movie that needed to be made. In case you've never read the book Don Quixote (which I haven't, but I own--so yes, these are the movie cliffnotes) it's a story about an actor in Spain who is arrested and sentenced to be executed. He is thrown in prison with murderers and thieves and prostitutes and they decide he should entertain them, etc. He puts on a play Don Quixote de la Mancha and all the prisoners play roles. He is, of course, Don Quixote, the knight errant, setting out to right all wrongs, to launch a crusade. He has a faithful squire, Sancho, and he finds a beautiful lady, Dulcinella. Together they face the world.

But of course, Sancho is not really a squire, just a friend who set off with an old man to make sure he didn't hurt himself and Dulcinella is really a named Eldonsa, the whore, who thinks the old man is crazy. During the course of this movie a lot of things, some beautiful, some sad, and some quite ugly, happen. People's true natures are revealed. In the end, Don Quixote has forgotten who he is and lies dying. Sancho and Eldonsa (who now reminds him that he called her Dulcinella--an important message about her gained belief in her true worth) arrive and sing to him lyrics they heard him sing once himself, lyrics to the impossible dream. He remembers who he is and what he is doing. He sings with them. Then he dies. The play is complete. We return to the prison. The actor has been summoned to his execution. As he marches up the stairs to that door, the thieves and murderers and prostitutes begin singing The Impossible Dream. His dream, his beliefs, have touched them all, even if only for a moment. And they are changed. He walks out that door to his execution. End of movie.

What my friend does matters. What you do, every day, the way you live your life, it matters. Yes, sometimes you won't see the change. But it does matter. It changes you and when you change yourself, even a little, you cannot help but change another person. Your life being spent in the service of God, in fulfilling your daily work with the best that is in you, that changes the world. No matter what it is. Even a little light can cast away the darkness. It doesn't matter if the world does end tomorrow, today we fight. It doesn't matter if the economy collapses, today we strive. And it doesn't matter if tomorrow the darkness unleashes all its might against us, today we spread the light.

Abinadi was, and it is only my opinion, the greatest missionary in the entire Book of Mormon. And he died, tortured by fire. In the last few moments of his life, he did not know if Alma escaped or not. He did not know that testifying of the Savior before King Noah made any difference. He did it anyway. His story and the eventual conversion of hundreds of thousands of people make my point. And what if no one had changed? What if, like Nephi, he did what was right always towards his brothers and ultimately still had to flee from them b/c of their murderous intents and they and their children continually tried to kill Nephi and his children? Did what Nephi do matter? To all those who later were brought to a realization of the truth and repented of their bloodthirstiness, yes, it did. Could they have found the truth if the truth had lost its way as well?

Don't give up. You matter. Each day. Whether you pump gas, flip burgers, raise children, have a Ph.D., are a student, waive a sign, study DNA, use a law degree, sew clothes, love a pet, WHATEVER. Do whatever you do at this moment with the best that is in you. Change the world around you by living the impossible dream.

"The Impossible Dream"
from MAN OF LA MANCHA (1972)
music by Mitch Leigh and lyrics by Joe Darion

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star