Break Up

Recently, I was reminded by someone of how much I used to like the movie Labrynth, with David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly. And I had to laugh a bit, because, yeah, I did like that movie. I had a crush on King Jareth, The Goblin King. Keep in mind, I was just a kid. He was cool because he had magical powers and he gave Sarah a pretty dress and he could have turned out to be a good guy and made the Labrynth a beautiful place to live. As a child, it never occurred to me that he wouldn't. Not because he couldn't, but because he didn't want to. He had made significant choices in his life as to the nature of his character. He was never going to be the good guy my innocent mind believed he could be, if only he loved someone enough. Which, of course, would have been me. Uh-huh. Flash forward to my adult nature and I cringe just a bit. Not only for the fact that I so obviously misread human nature, but because I crushed on a guy who wore more makeup than I did (even in my college days) and would probably have wanted to date all the same guys I did.

Despite liking Jareth as a kid, I still loved the scene where Sarah realizes that she has done her best to fight through whatever obstacles have come, that he is NOT there to help her as he claims, that she does, in fact, have power over him and that she chooses to exercise her own personal power to drop kick him to the curb and get her baby brother back. It is a great moment. Properly amped up by synthesizers and 1980's special effects. Nice touch.

Have you ever needed to let go of someone or something like that? Maybe it's a person or even a habit. Maybe you thought it was a good thing once. Or, like me as a naive kid, that you could control the way this person or this habit manifested itself. Only, you can't. Because people and characteristics have a nature. Truth can't be a lie and a lie can't be truth. A friend of mine recently got engaged. And I am very happy for this person. And it got me thinking of how it could have gone the other way. Think of what happens when you try to keep a relationship in limbo for too long. It goes against the natural progression of a relationship to either continue to blossom and develop or end. Just hanging out for eternity in date mode is like all those people who could never get out of the labrynth. Think Garbage City.

Yet that made me think even more about the habits and character traits we hold onto, almost like someone we are dating. Some of them are love-hate relationships. Some of them are just quirky. And some are downright toxic. Would you keep a toxic boyfriend? Someone who you thought made you wonderful and happy but, as the relationshp continued, became more and more controlling and abusive. Someone who tried to change you, to destroy you. I'm talking really toxic here, not just someone who wants you to floss your teeth. Would you stay? Only if you had let this person destroy enough of your belief in yourself to think you didn't have the strength to leave or didn't deserve better. Bad habits, sins, are like that too. Why? Because there's a guy out there, we'll call him Uncle Louie, who wants to control you. Who wants to say, a lot like King Jareth did, "just love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave".

Catch the illogic of that? And yet we fall for it over and over again. Since the beginning of the history of man. You can't submit yourself to a vice and expect it to submit to you. So what should do? Break up. Quite literally if that will help you. Imagine the vice as a person. Imagine the vice the way someone who was truly that vice would actually look. Not the way you want the vice to look so you can pretend it's not really that bad. It is that bad. Remember? This is Mr. Toxic. Now, be Sarah. You are strong enough. You have fought your way through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered. You have fought your way beyond the Goblin City to take back the virtue He has stolen. Your will is a strong as His and your kingdom as great. He has no power over you.

Remember that. The light is always stronger than the darkness. Sarah was always more powerful than King Jareth. She just had to believe it and do it.

Good Triumphs

You know those moments in life where all of goodness is reaffirmed? The moment something really good happens to a really good person and you feel nothing but total happiness? This weekend was one of those moments.

Time for Love?

Aside from coming up with a cool name and costume, dating seems to be another difficulty for superheroes. I mean, aside from being your coworker or your archnemesis, where do you actually find that 'nice boy' your mother always hoped you'd find. Somehow, I just can't picture Superman at a single's bar. (Aside from the fact that he is America's Boy Scout and would never drink.) Can you imagine Batman posting an ad on some single's website? "SWM likes gadgets and fast cars. Looking for SF who likes flying mammals and masks."

In every story about superheroes, the one thing they can never seem to get down, is true love. Leaping over tall buildings. Check. Catching criminals. Easy. Finding and keeping true love while juggling the whole alter-ego persona? Uh-oh. Inevitably, there is one person they love who has no interest in their 'day-to-day' persona. Said person pines for the Superhero who can never reveal the truth. On top of that, when they finally do get together, villains always find out who the Superhero's special friend is and use him or her as a tool to get at the Superhero. Let's face it...dating is rough when you spend your nights chasing penguins, cats, or bald men.

Perhaps superheroes should have some kind of dating broker. Like match.com for those with special powers or skills. Of course you'd have the inevitable questions "Are you a villain? Check yes or no." "Have you spent more than 6 months in Arkham Asylum? If so, please explain how you got out and what you are doing now"... Or, they could always have a relative.

Relatives are funny things sometimes. They want what is best for you. And they're convinced that you could have the best if you just had a little helpful push. Who better to 'push' than them? Case in point: this Saturday, my aunt has set me up. What do I think? Well, I'll have dinner with a man I don't know, along with my aunt and uncle, 6 cousins, and my grandma. No matter what, you know this will make for a great story (which I won't share online). Whether it ends in late night flying over Metropolis or the realization he's my archenemy, relationships are what you make them. Best of luck in yours.